Jenni & Zoe--Repressed Memories (Part 2)

I have received a lot of good feedback and interest in this series. Here is part two for your enjoyment. This part is mostly plot, to build what's coming, complete with spanking....

**Warning**--Edge theme/child abuse mentioned

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Repressed Memories (Part 2)
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"Tell me again, about when you were in Mexico.....please? " Jenni asked pushing her bangs off of her wet face as her aunt scrubbed her back gently with a lofa sponge, foaming with an apricot body wash. Zoë smiled at her niece's insistence.

"It was the best summer of my college years. I had never seen anything like that ocean. The Sea of Cortez is clear, crisp and warm. The sand is white and burns your bare feet....." She began Jenni's favorite story of her college expedition to Mexico to build houses for the needy families.

"....and the people really live in tin roof houses?" Jenni asked after a while, not believing how anyone could live like that. She looked around her own bathroom just then, taking in all the rich furnishings that these poor people would never experience, silently being thankful that she had not been born in a third world country.

"Yes, with bits of wood and what not. A lot of the world lives like that sweetheart. That is why we are so blessed and why I scold you when you waste food or complain about not having a new CD." Zoë explained and turned on the shower nozzle to rinse Jenni's back free of soapy suds.

Just the last two years Jenni was becoming more comfortable with her aunts presence in the bathroom with her, even asking that Zoë wash her back for her once and a while. "I know, and I'm getting better about not complaining so much....do you think we could go there sometime, to Mexico? Maybe 'before' I go to college?" Jenni questioned, resting her head on her bent knees, watching the bubbles around her calves break and scatter from the spraying water.

When Jenni had first come to live with her the child was barely seven and the girl had a huge fear of the bathroom. Zoë felt uncomfortable leaving the small child alone in the bathroom and insisted that she be present when Jenni bathed. The girl was very reluctant to comply, but agreed with a compromise of her own that the door always remained open. The woman had accidentally let the door close fully one time when Jenni was 9 and what had happened behind that closed door had shaken her beyond anything she had ever experienced.

"I'll take you, when you are a bit older and bigger." Zoë confirmed, smiling that the seeds she had been planting in Jenni about traveling and college were beginning to grow. She herself had to work her way through, waiting tables and cocktailing to pay rent and tuition all the way to grad school, but not her Jenni. This child, she had promised herself years ago, would go to the best university, travel, and learn about herself and the world unburdened. A lot of the money Zoë invested was for Jenni's future, a trust fund the child could claim at age 25, only after graduation.

"I think its time to get out. You're turning into a prune." Zoë said and stood to open a warm cream towel. She turned her head away in respect to Jenni's privacy as the girl eased herself up and stepped out onto the plush carpet and wrapped herself quickly in the towel.
"I'll clean up in here, go on to your room and get dressed. We will be leaving soon and no blue jeans, Jenni." She instructed, already knowing what her niece might pick out to wear.

Their Saturday consisted of errands and a trip downtown to Jenni's therapist, Dr. Suzanne Parker. The Doctor Parker had asked to meet with her on this day regarding her niece and the woman couldn't help but get a feeling of dread at whatever Dr. Parker had to tell her. She had a strong intuition and just knew that something was wrong. Zoë had questioned Jenni the last few weeks if anything was bothering her and had always received a curt 'no'.

It had been a month since the child's mother had contacted Jenni on the playground and Zoë had taken quick steps to get a restraining order in effect. So far Lydia hadn't bothered them since.

Zoë shook the negative thoughts out of her head as she cleaned up Jenni's bathroom before going to her own room to put on her black heeled leather knee boots and get her matching Nine West purse. She checked her appearance once in her full length silver mirror before heading down the stairs to await her niece. Today, she wore a calf length black skirt and a tan sleeveless turtle neck with a simple strand of pearls. Her long auburn hair hung in curled layers down her back; the style of casual elegance.

In a few minutes Jenni joined her by the front door in a pretty baby blue embroidered short sleeve shirt and a short dark blue skirt, complete with cuffed socks and matching shoes. Jenni had pulled her hair up into a high ponytail. The girl frowned when her aunt held out a light cotton jacket for her to wear. "I hate sleeves! It’s warm out anyway Aunt Zoë." Jenni whined as she reluctantly slipped on the jacket.

"Warm or not, it's November.” Zoë insisted, taking her own light jacket with her as they exited their home. Their first stop was the post office, then the library, then the video store, and even Zoë's office to get one of her patient's medical files to review before Monday. Saturdays were often one of their busier days, getting done everything that had been put off throughout the work week. Jenni usually enjoyed this time out and about with her aunt, but all the hours in and out of the car were beginning to take its toll on the normally sunny girl.

Zoë was just finishing up on her computer, printing the file, when she heard her nieces whining coming from the waiting area of her office. Sighing she stuck her head out her open door. Her secretary, Jan Steen, was in the office that day catching up on some filing and at this moment was picking up some papers that were on the floor. Her niece stood close by in a crossed armed pout making no attempt to help.

"I'm sorry Dr. Kelly, but could you ask Jenni to wait in the children's play area? I just can't work if she's by my desk going through papers." Though exasperated the woman was trying to be kind, normally loving when Zoë brought Jenni by the office. But today the newly turned 12 year old was trying her patience.

"Jenni help Mrs. Steen pick up the papers then come in here please." Zoë instructed.

Jenni shot her a sour look, but thought better of disobeying and helped the young secretary pick up the dropped paper work. Still the child stayed rooted to the spot afterward, anxious a bit as she met her aunt's firm gaze.

"Jenni, come here." Zoë said, and then firmed her tone, adding “right now young lady."

Jenni shifted on her feet for a moment, the air thick with the power struggle, eyes locked between woman and child. Zoë shook her head and crooked her finger for the girl to come to her. With heavyfeet and her green eyes constantly on her aunt, Jenni gave in coming forward instinctively covering her bottom with her hands. Zoë stepped aside, allowing her niece entrance before shutting the heavy door behind her. The woman then took hold of Jenni's upper arm, pulling the girls hands away from her bottom and with her free hand delivered a sharp, stinging swat to Jenni's clothed behind.

"Ow! Noooooooo!'' Jenni wailed, trying hard to pull away.

Her struggles resulted in Zoë seating herself on the blue leather chair near her desk and drawing her squirming niece over her lap. Zoë calmly raised her hand again and gave her niece another measured swat, this time to her bare thigh, leaving a pink hand print. Jenni continued to kick and squirm as she felt her skirt being lifted. A series of sharp, firm spanks landed on Jenni's now pink bottom, leaving the girl gasping for breath.

Zoë firmly held Jenni down, concentrating what she hoped to be the last six spanks on the little girls sit spot. "Unless you want your panties pulled down, I suggest you stop fighting me." She said, reminding Jenni exactly why she had been pulled over her lap for further spanking other than just a simple reminder swat to behave.

Jenni ceased her struggles immedently, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry.....Stop please!"

The woman released her grip on the girl's waist and lifted Jenni up under her arms to stand her up. Gravity brought the blue skirt back into place. Zoë allowed her rub the sting as she scolded, "You are to come to me the first time I call you. I will not tolerate your disobeying me, or you're whining. I understand that you're bored, but whining and not listening to the things I tell you to do isn't helping me to go any faster. Do you understand me?"

"Yes ma’am....I'm s-sorry." Jenni offered and wiped the tears that had started to flow.

Zoë bent forward and kissed her nieces cheek, "Apology accepted. Now I want you to go and apologize to Mrs. Steen. None of your excuses, just a simple, 'I'm sorry' is enough. Then we will get going. It's almost 3:00 and I do not want to be late to meet with your therapist."

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"I'm hungry" Jenni whined fifteen minutes later, tugging on Zoë's shirt a bit to get her attention. The woman sighed, dropping the pen on the sign in sheet and handing it to the teenage girl behind the high counter.

"Dr. Parker is expecting you Ms. Kelly. Please go right in."

“Thank you.”

Already having anticipated that Jenni would get hungry, Zoë pulled out a bag of sliced green apples and a small bottle of water, sweetened with a little cranberry juice from her purse and handed them to the child. "Here's your snack, go sit on the couch and wait right there. I shouldn't be to long." She said. Jenni's eyes grew large and smiling she took the offered food and headed over to the sofa as instructed.

Zoë made her way across the waiting area and through the arched opening that led into the therapist's main office. Dr. Parker stood upon Zoë's entrance and greeted her warmly. The two Dr.'s shook hands and exchanged polite greetings as they got comfortable.

"Thank you for taking sometime to meet with me today. The office is normally closed Saturdays, but I had a few client emergencies that had to be taken care of." Dr. Suzanne Parker started and shifted in her seat, crossing her tanned legs.

"And my Jenni is one of your emergencies?" Zoë asked, keeping her tone calm despite the sick feeling beginning to boil in her stomach.

"I had to be very sure that what I am about to tell you was true. Over the last few weeks I have been going over Jenni's file, school reports, medical history--You are her physician is that correct?"

"Yes, she doesn’t cooperate well with anyone else. I had tried, when she was younger, to have other female colleagues take over her medical needs, but she then would have tantrums and night terrors afterward that I didn't see the point in putting her through that type of stress when I could take care of her needs myself." Zoë explained, wondering what this had to do with anything.

"As I was saying, I started to review Jenni's history after she told me about her mother coming to see her on the playground that day. I assume you are aware of that?" It was more a question than a statement. This woman was uncomfortable with whatever it was that she had to say and Zoë picked up on that.

"Yes, I am aware. Jenni and I are very close. I chose to have her see a therapist to help her gain emotional stability and to give her an outside resource to help her through the emotional and physical abuse she had suffered. We both know that she is emotionally immature and behind her age group in that area. Will you please just say whatever it is that needs to be said?" Zoë asked, starting to feel uncomfortable for the first time with this woman.

"I'm sorry, its just these things are hard to talk about and I had to be sure before I met with you because a new direction in her therapy may be needed.....I have reason to believe that Jenni was sexually abused by her mother before she came to live with you. Through recent play therapy Jenni has demonstrated violent sexual play with two dolls; both female. I asked her about it and she told me that her `mother did this to her once'. I really think it was an isolated incident. I don't even know if she realized she told me as she was so wrapped up in it all. I believe some repressed memories have returned thanks to your sister's recent visit."

Zoë felt as if someone had slapped her. Suddenly there seemed to be no air in the room to breath. The walls became animated, vibrating violently and pushing their way inward.

"She's was a very sick woman. An alcoholic as I understand it from your family history...." Suzanne paused, glancing at the paper in her hand then to Zoë who sat across from her.

"Lydia takes after our father in the respect." Zoë gained her breath and replied bitterly, memories of her own childhood overwhelming her. She raised her shaking hand to her eyes to stop the tears that were beginning to flood her face. Suzanne Parker handed her a tissue, which Zoë gladly accepted, her mind reeling with questions."A-are you sure? I mean, it has been five years she has been with me and I never knew? I never knew...." Zoë mumbled, her thoughts racing, blurring and mixing until suddenly something became clear. "The bathroom.... .Oh God, Oh dear God..."

"Ms. Kelly, are you alright? You're very pale." Concerned the therapist leaned forward and placed a consoling hand on Zoë's knee.

"The bathroom.... It makes sense now. I don't know how I could have missed it." Zoë exclaimed, silently cursing herself that she never saw the signs; Jenni's mood swings, her fear of being alone, her emotional withdrawal and immaturity, the nightmares and tantrums, not to mention the small scars on the child's inner thigh that she had blamed on a cat. Zoë leaned forward and peered out the rippled glass panel by the door watching as a blurred image of Jenni thumbed through a book.

"What's this about a bathroom? Jenni mentioned something to me about it ages ago. A fear?" She prompted.Zoë leaned back against the padded chair remembering back to the incident with Jenni that she so wanted to forget. "It was shortly after she came to live with me. I could not get that child into a bathtub or really clean without a lot of coaxing, treats, or assurance. She told me, finally, that she was afraid of the bathroom, more specifically of being with me in a bathroom. So, I let her decorate it however she wanted, hoping that it would be more inviting to her, and it was after I promised never to close the door. Well, the door did close by accident one time. Jenni was nine and she was in the tub washing herself. The second the door closed she froze, her face ashen as if all the life had drained out of her...."

Zoë paused to catch her breath, the tears coming faster now. "She screamed the most blood chilling high pitched scream, as if someone was killing her. Then she started wailing 'No! Don't! Don't!' and looking at me as if she didn't know me, like she was reliving something. I intervened then and went to lift her from the tub. Her whole body came alive, thrashing and fighting. She fought me hard, biting and scratching me. I finally got her out the door and into her room. Almost instantly she relaxed and stopped screaming, but she cried, and cried all night and every night for a week. It took a good month before I could get her into the tub again. Meantime I helped her sponge off and washed her hair in the sink for her. I bought a door stopper and it's been in place ever since so that this wouldn't ever happen again." Zoë took a deep breath and dabbed her eyes with the ratted tissue. "I will never forget that scream as long as I live. It still haunts me." She concluded letting the silence of the room comfort her as a great weight settled itself on her strong shoulders.

"That would explain it then, the episode and the abuse. That woman must have done something to Jenni in a bathroom. I am very sorry...... This must be such a shock for you, much more so than it was for me. I had my suspicions, but sexual abuse is being pushed by therapists so much now days that I wanted Jenni to confirm it herself without any coaxing before I mentioned it to you."

"Thank you for making sure... I should get going now. I told Jenni I'd only be a few minutes and here we are almost an hour later. She and I have a lot to talk about at home." Zoë said standing and adjusted her purse on her shoulder. She said good bye to Dr. Parker and stood a moment at the door, collecting her thoughts and her emotions. She stepped out into the waiting area, scanning the quiet room for Jenni. Where the girl had been sitting was an empty water bottle, but no Jenni.

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"What do you mean you haven't seen her? She was sitting right there on the sofa not 20 minutes ago. I saw her myself through the glass." Worried, Zoë had asked the young woman behind the check in counter after a walk around the office, the restroom, and the outside halls proved no turn up of her niece.

"Maybe she went to the bathroom...." The teen offered, shuffling papers on her desk feeling a bit intimidated by the worried parent in front of her.

"I was just in the restroom looking for her, and she wouldn't have gone without me, not by herself...." Zoë paused, sensing someone new in the room. She turned to see Jenni enter the office carrying a small brown paper bag with a Starbucks label on it. "There you are! I've been worried sick...." Zoë gave a big sigh of relief; her worry replaced now with annoyance as she approached her niece and gave her a tight hug, holding the girl close to her for a long moment before breaking the embrace.

"I got hungry again and I remembered the Starbucks downstairs and I thought--"

"You thought you'd disobey me and wander off down there by yourself, despite my specific instructions to wait on that couch." The woman cut in and straightened up to take hold of Jenni's upper arm. She raised her hand high and gave her niece two sharp, stinging spanks, one to each bare thigh. Jenni squealed, real tears coming down her face. Zoë pulled a tissue from the side pocket of her purse and cupped her nieces chin in hand to wipe her child's eyes. "Unless you want a real spanking I suggest you start listening to me Jenni. I went as fast as I could in there with Dr. Parker. When I ask you to wait, I expect you to be a big girl and do as I ask you. It really worried me when I came out here and you were gone." She explained letting her niece's face go.

"B-but I was hungry....." Jenni whined, dropping the small brown bag at her feet.

Zoë knelt in front of her and took her small hands into hers realizing her niece really didn't understand why she was just spanked."Do you remember a few years ago when you lost sight of me in the Macy's department store in New York near Christmas time, how frightened you were when you thought I had left you there?"

"Yeah, there were too many people."

"Well, I felt like you did that day. I was very worried that something might have happened to you."

Jenni's eyes grew large with understanding and she hugged Zoë then, tightly around her neck. ''Oh, I'm sorry I worried you…., but can I still have my snack I bought?" Jenni asked reaching down to retrieve the dropped bag.

Zoë laughed softly. She nodded, smiling she ruffed Jenni's hair, smoothing her bangs off of her sweet face. Jenni frowned thoughtfully and traced a tear streak down Zoë's cheek with her finger. "You cried...You never cry. How come?" Jenni asked becoming upset that her absence may have caused her aunts tears.

"Yes ...well ... let's go home now baby and we will talk about it." She said standing and brushing off her skirt. Jenni bit her lip and her hands went to her bottom as she looked up to her aunt with a cautious question in her eyes."Not that kind of 'talk' sweetheart. You've done nothing wrong. This 'talk' involves you sitting on my lap, not you over it." Zoë joked and extended her hand to the girl. Jenni smiled back and took her aunts soft hand letting herself be led out of the office.
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"My stomach hurts." Jenni complained as Zoë set a pot of water to boil herself a cup of chamomile tea to calm her nerves, steeling herself for the conversation she must have with Jenni. The young girl sat on a high backed stool by the island counter top in the center of the kitchen, her drawing book and colored markers scattered about.

"I think you ate your dinner to fast sweetheart."Zoë moved a small pestle and bowl from a cabinet shelf and went over to her dried herb rack. During the summers she made a habit of growing and storing herbs to be used for medicinal purposes for herself and Jenni. She quickly selected an inky blue bottle from the many stored and returned to the pestle. "This mixture is of Caraway, and Rosemary. These herbs aide in stomach aches, and nausea. I'll make a tea for you to drink." Zoë explained, always trying to deepen Jenni's interest in herbs.

The girl looked up from her drawing and watched as Zoë poured a 1/2 ounce of the cut dried herbs into the bowl and ground them into a fresh gritty dust. The woman then put the bowls contents into a mesh tea net and set another small pot to boil. While the water grew hot, she busied herself finishing the evening's dishes.

Jenni's head popped up when the pots whistled. Zoë strained her chamomile tea into her favorite mug, a creative pottery piece Jenni had made for her last mothers day and sweetened it with a bit of fresh honey. She then did the same for Jenni, into a much smaller mug with only 4 oz of the now warm liquid."Take all of this while it's still warm." She instructed, handing the mug to Jenni. The girl gulped it down, frowning at the bitter aftertaste. "Good girl, now its time to clean up your artwork. We need to have a talk about something." Zoë said sipping her tea as her niece put her markers back in her art box with the unfinished drawing on top. "Let's go into the living room." Zoë led the way out the arched opening and seated herself on the beige leather couch, patting her lap for Jenni to sit. She set down her mug on the coffee table and opened her arms to her niece.

Jenni hesitated, sensing she would not like whatever it was her aunt wanted to talk to her about. The girl approached after that moment of uncertainty remembering her lesson from earlier that day about coming when she was called and settled herself comfortably on her aunt's lap.

Zoë wrapped her arm around the girl, pulling her close before she began, partly to reassure the nervous looking girl and partly to keep her from bolting if she became overwhelmed."I spoke with Dr. Parker today about one of your recent therapy sessions. She said that you told her about something that had happened between you and your mother a long time ago...." Zoë started noticing Jenni's body stiffen, the small muscles under her fair skin twitched anxiously. The woman stroked the girls back slowly before she continued, "I want to know what happened between you two......what happened in the bathroom Jenni?" She asked calmly, keeping her tone measured and soft. She knew Jenni would shut down if she felt threatened.

The girl shifted her weight, not looking at her aunt. She shook her head, covering her ears with her hands, "Your making me remember and I don't_want_to remember...." She whined, kicking her legs against the side of the sofa. Zoë gently pulled Jenni's hands away and kept the girls wrists clasped in front of her. Jenni shut her eyes tight, torn between wanting to shut Zoë out and wanting to clean her festering sore so it could begin to heal.

"You know I love you sweetheart, with all of my heart, don't you?"Jenni nodded, taking a deep breath to keep her self from crying. Her heart was beginning to pound as she broke into a cold sweat. Her eyes darted back and forth below her lids, taking in the forming memory."You can trust me with anything Jenni, tell me anything. Nothing that happened was your fault, you are not to blame for anything your mother said or did. I just want to help you baby, please let me help you..." Zoë coaxed, watching Jenni for any signs that the child would talk to her. A long silence set in and Zoë waited patiently for Jenni to be ready to speak.

Finally after a long while Jenni parted her lips, her eyes still tightly closed."I....She....I-I told her not to. I said not to. I said don't...." Jenni assured, fighting an urge inside her to not speak, not to tell the awful truth. "I had been bad and she was angry, so angry at me....S-she filled the tub with hot water. It was to hot, but she made me get in. She hit me, with a belt on my back when I tried to get out." Hateful, hot tears forced there way out Jenni's green eyes, "She screamed at me, calling me names, those words I'm not supposed to say....."

Zoë bit her tongue so hard it bled. Her face contorted in controlled rage at a woman, her own sister, who could do this to a child, her child. If not by birth, by heart. "You're doing very well baby. Keep going.''

"After a while she stopped yelling, and just looked at me. She was drinking red wine from a bottle and she broke the bottle on the bottom. There was glass all over, in the water even and....and she told me to open my legs." Jenni burst into tears then, her small body shaking uncontrollably, "I-I got c-cut, on my leg trying to get away. I fought so she hit my head into the faucet....When I woke up I-I was on the f-floor....it was dark and I was locked in." Jenni concluded her mouth dry as cotton, unable to speak anymore.

Zoë held Jenni tightly, her chest heaving with silent sobs. "I'm so sorry baby. I'm so sorry she did those things to you. You didn't cause any of it; you were not 'bad.' You are never 'bad'. Do you hear me?" Zoë asked, trying with much difficulty to keep her voice level and calm even though her insides were on fire, her blood burning. "There is no excuse for what your mother did, but she was very sick, the wine...the alcohol rather made her unwell. That's partly why she was so mean and angry all the time to you." She explained, hoping Jenni could understand what made her mother act the way she did.

"But you have wine sometimes and your never mean....I must have made her mad." Jenni reasoned finally opening her eyes. Zoë lifted Jenni under her arms and turned her so the child could see her better. "Listen carefully to me young lady. YOU-" she said tapping the girls chest gently, "did nothing wrong. The alcohol made your mother sick and she made some very wrong choices because of that, not because of you."

"Do you think she loved me?" Jenni asked, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.

Zoë kissed Jenni's damp cheek, forming her words carefully. "I think she loved you the best she could. But it was not the right kind of love. Not like how I love you."

Jenni smiled slightly, sniffling she settled her head in Zoë's breast. The sound of her aunt's heartbeat comforted her. Jenni understood that her Aunt Zoë was making her a generous gift; the gift of a mom not all bad. The young girl closed her eyes, exhausted from crying and all of the emotions pumping through her veins. "I never asked her to be my mom…" Jenni whispered.

Zoë nodded in agreement, knowing anyone could lie down and have sex, producing a baby, but that didn't make a person a mother.

Jenni's small fingers traveled upward and played with the strand of pearls at Zoë's neck, turning each individual pearl gently as she confirmed a brewing choice inside of her. "From now on I choose you to be my mother." She whispered, new content tears coming down her cheeks. It would be hours before woman and child moved from their embrace....

“Blackbird singing in the dead of night,
take these broken wings and learn to fly.
All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arise.
Blackbird singing in the dead of night,
take these sunken eyes and learn to see.
All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to be free
Black-bird fly
Black-bird fly,
into the light of a dark black night”

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Later that night, after Zoë had tucked Jenni into bed the woman made her way down the spiral staircase and into the large dark kitchen, the spirit of her home. From memory her long fingers found the switch on the textured taupe wall and the room brightened before her. The Spanish tiled floor felt cool beneath her bare feet. Her rose colored silk robe clung to her damp skin, as she was just fresh out of the shower. She had clipped her auburn hair into messy twist a top her head.

Very quietly, she unlatched the cellar door near the kitchen fireplace. A moment later a bright yellow light lit up the little room and part of the kitchen. Zoë used this cellar for drying herbs and storing her discerning wine collection. From her many travels she had collected and spent a small fortune on boutique, hard to find wines. She thoughtfully fingered a newly acquired bottle of Sea Smoke Pinot Noir, an expensive cloudy garnet liquid with a nose of violets and blueberries.

She gathered every bottle of red wine from her collection and set the two dozen or so bottles on the countertop. She then pulled out a sterling silver engraved wine key from her robe pocket, a gift from a close male friend who celebrated Zoë's love for fine wines. Slowly and one by one, Zoë cut the foil on each wine, listening as the curved blade effortlessly slid around the bottle tops. In a well practiced motion she removed all of the corks. When all of the bottles were open the woman's fingers clasped the Sea Smoke's long green neck. Carefully she tipped the tinted glass on its side, watching as the crimson liquid met the bottles neck, flowed out of the opening, and down the drain. As she emptied each of the bottles to the last drop she promised herself that she would never again drink red wine. The very thought of it, from that moment on made her violently ill...

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The End
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Credit of song Blackbird by Paul McCartney

Part 3 will follow soon. Comments welcome.